


It Is Kind of High Up, Isn't it?

by DarkBlueBirds



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: AU, Anya Lives, BAMF Anya, BAMF Lexa, Clexa, F/F, Fuck Canon, Humor, Lexa Lives, Modern AU, but also badass anya, fuck jroth, mamabear!anya, no violence, ranya, short chapters sorry, these gay nerds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 08:41:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8279777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkBlueBirds/pseuds/DarkBlueBirds
Summary: Federal Agents Anya and Lexa are tired and just want to get home to food and sleep. Instead they discover two girls passed out on their balcony. That is five floors up. And they definitely did not come through the door.Clarke and Raven work their asses off to pay for college, and one night free beer is available. Blind drunk, the night takes a turn. An upward turn, you might say.------The, hey I'm blind drunk on your five story high balcony at 3AM fic that no one asked for





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**_Anya_ **

Tired and just done with everything, Anya made her way home at three in the morning. Why she had chosen to walk, she would never know. However it was slightly more bearable considering her partner, Lexa was by her side. Lexa was one of those people you could be silent with, who wouldn’t badger you with nuances as they tried to fill the quiet.

They were both FBI agents and they made a great team. Not only had Anya been Lexa’s trainer but they had bonded and formed a friendship. Now they even lived together.

Yesterday they had performed a huge drug bust and were then lucky enough to spend their entire night writing reports. At least they weren’t police officers. Those unlucky bastards had to deal with all the drunken college students last night. Some of the local bars had offered free beer to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas holidays for the college kids, all the while promoting their business.

Her arm brushed Lexa’s as she walked and she felt proud to know Lexa would not pull away. Lexa was a very private person who preferred books to people, and it was a privilege in Anya’s mind to get close to her. Anyone who hurt her would have to suffer through Anya’s own wrath.

Finally their building came into view and Anya lengthened her stride, Lexa keeping up with ease. Her coat flapped in the brisk wind and Anya could just tell it would snow soon. The thought of a white Christmas was nice but the fought of fighting through snow was not.

Slipping through the front door after keying in the code, Anya gave one longing look at the elevator before heading towards the stairs. It helped with her fitness. She trudged upwards at a steady pace.

“Do we have any food?” Lexa asked.

Anya paused and groaned. Sure, they had money and sure, they lived in a fucking nice apartment that Anya owned, but the actual act of grocery shopping was something neither Lexa nor Anya were interested in.

“We ate the last of the leftovers yesterday,” Anya stayed still and looked at Lexa.

Lexa sighed, glancing down the staircase. She then said, “Pizza or Thai?”

“Pizza,” Anya said with finality, starting back up the stairs.

It didn’t really matter what she ate anyway, her exercise regime would make the average athlete crawl into a ball and die. Possibly the only person who could keep up with her was Lexa, and even she struggled on occasion.

Finally they reached their door. Anya pulled her key out her pocket and stuck it in the lock before swinging it open. Too lazy to hang up her gun or any of the knives she probably shouldn’t be carrying up yet she walked over to the kitchen, boots smacking against the tiles.

She saw Lexa whipping out her cell phone as she leaned against the breakfast bar, also neglecting to put away her gun. She swung open the fridge door and pulled out the milk cartoon, taking a few swallows straight from the bottle. She ignored the pointed glare she knew Ms Lexa the Anti-Germ Freak was sending her. Wiping her mouth and setting it back in its place she looked at the dismally empty fridge and knowing the cupboard was in a similar state, resigned herself to shopping tomorrow.

She heard Lexa rattle off their usual order and then hang up the phone. She shut the fridge a bit too forcefully before turning to look at Lexa. Lexa’s eyes were wary as she gazed at Anya. More specifically, Anya’s evil little smirk.

“We,” Anya began dramatically, “Are going shopping tomorrow.”

It was Lexa’s turn to groan.

“Anya, there’s basically only a week until Christmas! You’re insane!” Lexa looked dumfounded.

Anya laughed. “Just because I can get away with eating junk food until Christmas is over doesn’t mean I want to, Lexa. And if I’m suffering so are you.”

Lexa huffed in displeasure as she turned the heater up. Anya just laughed again and walked over to the iPod dock and plugged her phone. She could do with some music. It may be 3AM but she wanted music and food, and she needed that to relax before she could even think of sleep. On the bright side, she had managed to get the next three days off for her and Lexa.

She scrolled through her music for a few minutes before flicking into the latest album from Panic! At the Disco, Death of a Bachelor. Victorious started playing and as the image of men sobbing on the floor as Anya beat them shitless in last night’s brawl at the drug bust she decided it was a fitting song.

Lexa rolled her shoulders out and glanced at Anya across the room. Anya raised an eyebrow in question.

“Twenty minutes until Pizza arrives,” She informed her.

“Good. I might go get some fresh air.” She stretched her arms over her head, actually looking forward to the view of the city and the few stars you could see.

“You just walked home,” Lexa pointed out. “Do you really need more fresh air?”

“Shut up, smartass. You know I like the view,” Anya’s voice was the perfect combination of dry and scolding.

Lexa just laughed. Anya smirked and flipped her off as she strode from the kitchen into the lounge. The big dark green curtains were drawn and Anya, like always, was pleased by the colour. It reminded her of happier times, when she was being raised in a small town surrounded by forest. Lexa had been raised in a town just like that to.

Anya flung the curtains back and froze as the light from the room spilled out onto the balcony. It caught on a mess of blonde hair and glinted off the metal and plastic of a heavy duty leg brace.

_What the actual fuck._

Anya swore in her head and under her breath. Passed out on her balcony were two girls, one blonde and all soft curves, and the other dark haired, tan and lean. The blonde was dribbling.

She could easily tell that they were young enough to be college students. And based on the events of the night and college just letting out, they were most definitely drunk.

Anya knew they must have somehow scaled the fucking building, since she would have known if someone had broken into her apartment from the lock alone.

_How the hell did they climb five stories? And with one of them in a fucking brace at that!_

Anya’s confusion and what the fuck moment quickly gave way to anger. She had had a long, long day quickly followed by hand cramping report writing. She just wanted pizza, music and sleep. But now there were two city rats, two vagrants on _her_ balcony at three in the fucking morning.

Perhaps she was being harsh. Maybe she should appreciate the athletic feat they had committed. But she wasn’t. She was so, so angry.

Her hand flitted to a knife before she decided the gun would scare them a bit more in this situation. Or at least be more easily recognizable when she woke them up.

“Lexa!” She called.

Hearing Anya’s tone, Lexa made her way over immediately. Upon arriving she let out a quiet breath at what she was seeing. She looked at Anya’s gun with a raised an eyebrow.

Anya simply said, “I’m going to scare the living shit out of these two assholes.”

Lexa grabbed her arm, “Should we call the police?”

“Please,” Anya scoffed, “We are going to do a much better job than any cop, and enjoy it a hell of a lot more.”

Lexa nodded. She was none too pleased about the situation. Anya grabbed the handles of the doors and ripped them open, letting her anger fuel her actions. Not so much of an asshole as to attack someone in a brace, she kicked the blonde’s calf _hard._

“Wake up assholes!” She yelled, not caring about the neighbours. She knew they slept like the fucking dead.

 _How did no one_ see _them climb the building?_

“What! What?” The brunette wearily groaned, her words slurring slightly.

She could feel Lexa push past her to stand menacing over the now waking blonde and made her move towards the brunette.

“Why is it so bright?” The blonde groaned.

“Maybe because you broke into our home!” Lexa seethed in that quiet, dangerous way of hers.

She didn’t have her gun out, but Anya figured she didn’t need it from the petrified look on the blondes face.

She turned her attention to the brunette, who was looking at the gun in Anya’s hand with wide eyes.

“I’d just like to add, you didn’t break into just anyone’s home. I am Federal Agent Anya Woods and this is Federal Agent Lexa Trikru.” Anya’s voice may as well have been a bullet since it seemed to have the same effect one would on the two girls.

They went deathly pale as the words registered, their minds suddenly sobering up.

 

 


	2. 2

**Chapter 2**

**_Clarke_ **

When Clarke heard stories about there being certain things that could just wake someone up or shock them into sobriety she just laughed and scoffed. As a girl who had, once upon a time, been a pre-med student she knew the body just didn’t work like that.

Of course, looking into shockingly green eyes, shockingly green _angry_ eyes, her opinion changed. The beautiful brunette (whom Clarke decided was definitely going to be frequenting the surfaces of her canvases) in front of her was just radiating with a quiet fury, and it took a moment for it all to click in her head.

_Trespassing?_

Raven was more vocal with her thoughts. “Trespassing?”

This dragged Clarke’s gaze over to her and she blanched when she saw the gun, which Raven was seemingly not bothered by. Of course, Clarke knew it was an act. Raven had hated guns since the bullet to her spine crippled her.

“Yeah, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re on our balcony,” Said the other one.

This other girl was stunning as well, of course. She was obviously oriental, and had cheekbones sharp enough to kill a man. Long and lean, just like the brunette. Her hair was a dirty, coppery blond that just suited her perfectly.

“Wait,” Clarke breathed, grimacing at the scent of cheap beer on her breath, “ _Federal Agents?”_

She heard Raven let out a squeak as it all registered.

Then, “Holy shit Clarke we are on a fucking balcony!”

That prompted Clarke’s memory. Hadn’t one of the girl’s just mentioned that? She felt the cool breeze on her face and looking to her left, sure enough they were on a balcony that seemed unfairly high up.

The tall blonde woman was going to speak when the brunette interrupted, “Maybe we should bring them inside, Anya. This isn’t the best place to interrogate them.”

Clarke’s stomach dropped a bit. _Federal agents. Balcony. Interrogate._

The older woman, Anya, gave a grunt of agreement. Very reluctantly she holstered her weapon. “Get up.”

Sharing a look with Raven she hastily scrambled to her feet. She did not want to mess with these two. Having to stop herself from mortally offending Raven by helping her up she looked at the view, trying not to sway. Maybe the effects of the alcohol hadn’t completely worn off.

The view was really breathtaking. However, she was ripped away from it by the feeling of a strong hand around her upper hand. She was yanked around to face the tan, green eyed beauty. Clarke felt a bit lost looking at her eyes until she was dragged inside. She staggered a little bit along the way, looking at the apartment with wide eyes.

She heard a grunt behind her and looked to see Anya shoving Raven inside. Raven stumbled, her brace making getting her balance back hard.

“Hey!” Clarke directed at Anya, glad her voice was not slurring.

Anya gave her a look so cold that Clarke quite literally froze in her place. And then the lethal woman was stalking towards her and roughly shoving her down onto a couch. The brunette pushed Raven down next to her, albeit more gently then Anya had treated before.

The two women stood imposingly in front of them, arms crossed. The brunette began, during Clarkes gaze to her soft, pink lips.

 _Stop being such a hoe, Clarke! Now is not a good time!_ Her inner voice warned her.

“Would you like to explain how you managed to climb up five stories with one of you in a brace, whilst both of you were presumably blind drunk?” Her voice was carefully controlled, and Clarke felt her first pang of guilt as she looked at the dark rings under the brunette and her companion’s eyes.

Instead of offering up a logical explanation or even an apology, Clarke just dumbly repeated, “Five stories?”

Raven shot her an exasperated, expectant look but the memories were not forthcoming yet. She sighed.

“I’m not really sure. We just got off college for a few weeks, and um... There was free beer. A lot of it actually. Then we were really drunk and somehow jumped the gate.. Well I mean Clarke jumped the gate and then dragged me over... After that for me it’s just flashes and the distinct feeling I almost died.” Raven shrugged trying to act nonchalant, but Clarke had to hide a smile when she saw how her friend’s eyes were drawn towards Anya.

Dribbles of memories floated in front of Clarke’s inner eye.

“Uh, it’s a bit hazy but the balcony climbing part... It was a lot of giggling, I know. But... Oh yeah! There are these two pipes that run down the side of the building, and they have like, four rungs on them per balcony. I climbed up and then hauled Raven onto the next balcony before we repeated the process. I guess we just passed out up here...” Clarke trailed off, sheepish.

She watched Anya and the other girl share an almost alarmed look. Anya spoke, “You two are fucking lucky. Those rungs are not stable.”

“Worried about us now, huh? I knew we’d grow on you.” Raven’s sass was rapidly returning now that the gun was away, and no amounts of warning looks from Clarke were going to stop her.

Anya just growled. She opened her mouth to continue when the doorbell rang. She paused and then turned to the other woman. “Lexa, do you mind?”

The girl – Lexa – just inclined her head and moved off. _Lexa. Wonder if it’s short for anything._

She vaguely heard greetings being murmured and once again looked at the apartment. It was huge. Filled with expensive furniture, bookshelves that were overflowing and other such luxury items Clarke felt a bit jealous.

When she smelt the pizza she exchanged a small look with Raven before pushing away her hunger pangs. She was used to being hungry.

She heard what was presumably the oven door being opened and knew the intent was to keep the pizza warm. Guilt struck again. They had obviously interrupted the girl’s dinner. She saw a bit of guilt in Raven’s eyes as well.

“Uh... It’s pretty dark out... What’s the time?” Clarke tried to dispel some of the awkwardness as Raven fidgeted.

“Three AM.” Anya’s answer was flat.

“Probably closer to three thirty now,” Lexa commented as she walked in.

Clarke’s cheeks turned a bit red with shame as she noticed that the girls no longer looked angry but instead looked bone tired.

Raven had other things on her mind, however. “Fuck, we have work in two and a half hours!”

Clarke let out a small groan. They worked in the Grounder Cafe downtown. It was open 6AM till 9PM and the hours were killer, and the pay none too. However the owner, a girl named Octavia was very good to them. She let them use a small room out the back to complete their assignments and mooch off of the cafes free Wi-Fi. Sometimes when it was raining, they would even plead that assignments were due soon and sleep in there. Their most prized possessions were kept in their work lockers.

She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw a flash of pity in Lexa’s eyes. But it was gone so quick she couldn’t be sure.

The two women just stood there, watching them through slitted eyes. They looked intimidating and they knew it.

Anya, all sharp angles with leather, fingerless gloves and a long swirling coat. Her boots looked heavy duty enough to kill someone with. Clarke tried desperately not to think of how much getting kicked by her would hurt when she remembered the ache in her calve. _Well, too late on that front._

And Lexa... God, Lexa. Something about her was so untameable and wild, from the gleaming green eyes to the untameable curly hair. She almost wouldn’t mind getting kicked by her. _No, bad Clarke. Stop. You need to focus. No, not on her mouth!_

“What do we do with them?” Lexa asked.

Anya turned her back on them and trough her hands in the air, huffing. Clarke didn’t miss how Ravens eyes instantly went to the slightly older woman’s ass. She bit back a chuckle.

Anya spun back around, her eyes zeroing on Raven, who looked innocently away. Lexa remained silent and as Raven pretended to be interested in the ridiculously soft carpet Clarkes smile grew.

That is until Anya’s furious gaze fell upon her. As inappropriate as it sounded, Clarke knew she would have to capture that emotion on paper later. And then maybe gift it to Raven. Before Anya got the chance to say anything though, Lexa interjected.

“You think this is funny?” Clarke blushed and spluttered, while Raven took her turn at hiding a smile.

“N-no! No! I just... Um... No?” Clarke anxiously ran a hand through her hair.

“Look,” Raven said bluntly, “We don’t want trouble, believe it or not. This is all just a mistake. Sorry we climbed your balcony and passed out and shit. Now, the easy solution is you let us go, we go and get ready for our shitty day job and you eat your pizza and sleep off your memory of this entire encounter.”

Anya looked ready to condemn the idea but then Lexa just quietly said, “Anya, I’m tired.”

The older blonde’s eyes softened a fraction before she nodded tersely.

“Get up,” She snarled at Clarke and Raven.

The girls scrambled to their feet, Raven batting away her hand that she had offered before she could think to stop herself. Clarke didn’t let it bother her. It was just Raven’s way.

Lexa strode off into the kitchen and Clarke let her eyes follow her before she forced herself after Anya, who was leading them to the door.

Raven was already out in the hall when Clarke got there and Anya grabbed her arm and swung her around, getting her face right up near Clarkes. It startled her.

“Don’t. Come. Back. Got it?” Anya’s voice was soft but the threat was very clear.

Clarke didn’t have to see Raven’s face to know she was probably already fantasizing about that voice. _As if you’re not thinking of Lexa’s you hypocrite._

Clarke pushed that voice away and responded to Anya as strongly as she could, which meant her voice only wavered a little. To be fair though, she was still kind of drunk; she had been in the proximity of two attractive women, one who was very near her with the threat of violence in the air.

“Don’t worry. You’ll never see us again.”

***

Turns out that ‘Never see us again,’ was actually a different way to say, ‘See you today when you come into our place of work, grumpy and tired and bitching about the girls who scaled your building and passed out on your balcony and _God where is our coffee?_.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it so far! Please comment. This is also over on FF


	3. 3

**Chapter 3**

**_Clarke_ **

It was busy. It was so, so busy. The mortification and accompanying exhaustion of the balcony incident had set it and Clarke was stumbling as she pushed out coffee after coffee. She probably wouldn’t get a lunch break.

_Oh well. It’s not like I can afford lunch anyway._

The gorgeous women from last night had not yet left Clarkes mind. Both had that dangerous, edgy look she liked but... The brunette was absolutely breathtaking, and her eyes just...

“Snap out of it, Griffin!” Raven called.

Clarke blushed and got back to the mega-caramel-I’m- a-stuffy-rich-bitch-almond-milk coffee she had been crafting, calling out an apology.

“It’s okay. We’re thinking about the same things – or people, should I say!” Raven laughed as she began to serve the next couple, sliding even more coffees over.

“Shut it!” Clarke laughed.

The doorbell chimed as more people walked in, but Clarke ignored it. It had been chiming heaps this morning.

It was a few minutes later she heard Raven’s quiet, “Oh fuck.”

She spun to look and uttered a few curses herself. There stood Anya and Lexa, looking at them with twin unamused looks. She saw Raven swallow and give Anya a full body look over before dragging her eyes to the girls face. The cafe had finally, finally died down, but unfortunately that meant the girls would have to interact.

“Hi,” Raven said weakly as Clarke handed out her last coffee-to-go.

Anya raised an eyebrow and Lexa’s eye twitched.

“So much for never seeing you again huh?” Anya’s voice was like a shard of ice.

Raven’s sass returned. “Well, we do work here, so-”

Octavia cut her off, “Don’t be rude to the customers, Reyes!”

Raven huffed but nodded, before forcing herself to smile sweetly at Anya. “What can I get you?”

Anya and Lexa both ordered black coffees, Anya surprisingly with one sugar. Both in the extra large cups – there was that guilt again. Clarke and Raven were the reason they were tired. When they ordered a piece of cake each as well (in the morning? Though Clarke supposed they had Pizza at 3AM... Maybe it was an FBI thing) Raven asked them if they would like to sit at a table and have their food and drinks brought to them. They agreed, watching Raven like a pair of hawks. They had yet to spot Clarke, hiding behind the coffee machine.

Clarkes jaw dropped a bit as Raven held her hand out for the money and Anya pulled a dick move. She had obviously spotted Raven’s attraction for her, thought Clarke dryly. She put the money in Ravens hand and then let her hand linger there, deliberately dragging her fingertips over Ravens hand when she finally removed it.

“Keep the change,” Anya’s voice held a challenge.

“T-thanks,” Raven stuttered, stumbling over her own feet as she moved the one step to the till.

“So you can climb a building in that brace but you can’t walk?” This time Anya’s voice was biting.

Raven looked hurt but she covered it up quickly, saying nothing as the girls strode off to their table. When they were gone Clarke made their appearance.

“Thanks for your support, traitor,” Raven said bitterly.

“I needed to make sure at least _one_ of us survived, Raven,” Clarke said impishly.

She thought about the coffee and Anya’s scathing words.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this.” Clarke was confident.

She quickly pulled out the slices of cake and put them on plates. Then she got to make the coffees. Lexa’s was made to perfection (not very hard with plain black coffee) but Anya’s...

It wasn’t really Clarkes fault that she mistook the salt for sugar, was it? That’s exactly what she told herself as she poured the entire shaker of it in. With the amount she had put in, she was lucky that it dissolved. Then, just to be a bitch, she put in some lemon juice.

Just to keep her job safe, she ditched the order sheet so she could say it was an honest to god mistake, that she had just _mistook_ what Raven said the order was.

She secured the cap of the coffee cup on. She should have put them in mugs since the women were eating in but then they would undoubtedly spot her trick. And she needed to avenge Raven’s sore pride.

“Why are those in travel cups, Clarke?” Raven was suspicious.

“Just watch, babe,” Clarke winked.

She placed the coffees on a tray with the cake and made sure she knew which was which. She sashayed over to their table and set down their food. Before any cutting remarks could be made to her she gave them a brilliant smile.

“Enjoy your food!” With that, she strutted off.

Clarke leant against the counter with Raven leaning over so their heads were parallel.

“Don’t make it obvious, but watch them,” Clarke murmured, scanning the room as she watched for Anya’s reaction.

“What did you do?” Raven hissed.

“Nothing,” Clarke’s voice was cheeky.

“Just remember they are armed and I am not jumping in front of a bullet for you.” Raven’s voice was serious.

Clarke just laughed. It was in that moment that Anya lifted up her drink and took a sip.

Her entire body froze. To her credit, she swallowed and didn’t spit out the foul liquid. Clarke was laughing out loud by this point and so was Raven.

But then Anya turned and saw her laughing, and the pure fury in her eyes was like a white hot blade. She couldn’t even see Lexa, Anya’s rage was all encompassing. Raven froze beside her.

She felt like a deer in the headlights. Until, of course, Anya pushed her chair up and stood up, snarling. As she took a step towards them Clarke was sprinting around the counter and grabbing Ravens arm, dragging her into the storeroom, closing and locking the door.

Angry yelling was heard behind the counter.

“Shit,” She breathed, sharing a wide eyed glance with her best friend.

Raven opened her mouth to speak but didn’t get the chance. A loud banging sounded on the door.

“Get out here, you little shits! You won’t survive this one, I swear!” Anya’s voice was like a whip through the quiet air.

A sense of sudden death filled Clarke. She saw her life flash before her eyes. She hadn’t quite expected Anya to be this mad. The thought that only a door separated them terrified her. The lock wasn’t very strong.

Maybe Octavia would save them.

This time the banging rattled the door.

_Not even Octavia will be able to end this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noot noot  
> please leave comments


	4. 4

**Chapter 4**

Clarke looked at Raven as the door continued to rattle, menacing threats making their way through the wood.

“It was worth it,” She breathed to Raven.

“I heard that you asshole! Open the fucking door!” Clarke shared a wide eyed glance with Raven.

“It was nice knowing you,” The tan girl whispered back.

But then their saviour came.

“Excuse me, what are you doing terrorising my staff?” Octavia fucking Blake, her hero.

Lexa’s cool voice cut in and Clarke’s toes curled a bit. Raven gave her a knowing look.

“We have had... Pass transgressions with these two which leads me to believe the blonde barista specifically...” She trailed off and Anya filled in.

“Specifically put fucking salt and lemon juice in my coffee!” Anya was seething, but thinking back on the comment she made to Raven Clarke still thought it was worth it.

“Hold on,” Their boss sighed.

Clarke and Raven exchanged horrified glances as they heard the key unlocking and Ravens breath caught.

Raven was going to die; not as she had dreamed, where she had ended up dying of exhaustion after a night in the honey blonde FBI agent’s bed, but at the end of her gun.

She flinched. Guns were not her thing. Not after Finn.

The doors opened and the two girls shuffled out, steadfastly trying to look innocent.

“Explain yourselves!” Octavia’s eyes were hard but amused, which was a good sign.

Raven employed the puppy eyes which had Octavia instantly softening, “I don’t know boss... Clarke delivered her drink and then she just went crazy.”

She added a pout and a slight lip tremble for effect.

Octavia sighed and looked to Clarke, who also had the look of an angel to her. She knew she was being played.

“And what do you have to say for yourself, Clarke? _Federal Agent_ Anya here seems to think you have dragged your personal life to work by deliberately spoiling her drink due to a past... Altercation.” Octavia couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Well, you see, I thought that Raven had said she wanted her coffee black with lots of sugar and a twist of lemon... But it was really busy so I must have misheard.” Clarkes baby blue eyes got impossibly wider as she avoided looking at the two detectives next to her.

Octavia resisted the urge to rub her temples, shooting a slightly nervous look at the aggressive blonde woman. She was like a wolf on a leash, with the brunette being the leash. Octavia had a feeling the only reason she hadn’t pounced yet was the strong hand the brunette had on her shoulder.

“Seriously? I asked for one teaspoon of sugar! And a twist of lemon what the actual fuck it’s coffee!” Anya looked violent.

“Where is the order sheet Clarke?” Octavia’s voice was as stern as she could make it.

“I think it got lost during the rush, Boss.” She bit her lip and peeked at Octavia under her lashes, knowing it would practically prove her innocence in her bosses mind.

“Well why the fuck was my coffee full of salt instead of sugar?” Anya’s voice had reached a lower, more vicious intensity and all the girls got the feeling this is what her anger was normally like.

Cold, sharp and terrifying.

Scratch that, this is what Anya was always like.

Octavia raised an eyebrow at Clarke and she scrambled to answer.

“I must have picked it up by accident,” She made her voice slightly distraught before deciding to seal the deal.

Swallowing her nerves, Clarke looked at Anya, whose eyes instantly narrowed. _I can do this,_ she thinks. She doesn’t have to convince Anya or Lexa, just her Boss.

“I really am sorry Ma’m,” Anya’s eye twitched slightly and Clarke’s stomach turned, “I normally never make mistakes like this! I can make you a new coffee if you like.”

Before Anya could reply with a scathing remark, Raven broke in with an Oscar worthy performance.

“We are really sorry Miss, it was an honest mistake,” Biting her lip she reached down and not-so-subtly rubber her leg, creating a wince that was very realistic looking, “You really scared us.” Her voice was softer there, and had a slight tinge of pain.

Raven looked up from under her lashes and bit back a chuckle. She didn’t know if the boss bought it but she knew she was off the hook.

“Raven, go sit down for ten minutes and rest that leg of yours. Clarke, while it’s quite make new coffees for these two women, especially since the others would have gone cold by now.” Her eyes said, _don’t fuck it up._

“Sure thing, Boss!” She said cheerfully.

Clarke turned to Lexa and Anya as Raven dramatically limped off, earning a scoff from both the imposing women.

“It’ll be ready real quick ladies! Sorry for the misunderstanding!” She gave them her biggest grin even as her skin tried to crawl away.

Anya’s eyes took on a flinty quality and Lexa’s seemed to narrow.

“Now, you two...?” Octavia looked at them, clearly expecting names.

“Federal Agent Anya and Federal Agent Lexa,” Lexa’s voice was stiff.

“Ok, Anya and Lexa. Feel free to come here for free coffee and cake, whenever! The least we can do, especially when I know you all work so hard to keep the streets safe!” Octavia smiled at them.

Lexa smiled politely back but Anya’s gaze slid to Clarke, a cruel smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“We’d love to, Octavia.” Her voice promised death.

Clarke went to make the coffees and met Raven’s eyes across the room. Her skin was pale underneath the tan.

The girls communicated silently and the general message was:

_We are so fucked._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the humor continues....  
> this isn't edited so feel free to tell me if I fucked up the grammar


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk what I'm doing here tbh

**Chapter 5**

Clarke huffed as she typed out the last words of her assignment and emailed it to her professor in the dingy back room of Grounder’s Cafe. She could tell Raven was doing the same.

Tonight was not a good night. For whatever reason, when Clarke had tried to plead too many assignments and in need of WiFi to Octavia in a bid to be allowed to stay in the cafe that night, well, it hadn’t worked.  And it was looking increasingly dreary outside. It would probably snow next week. Right in time for Christmas.

It didn’t help that every day for the last week Anya and Lexa had sauntered into the cafe and ordered at least two things each. First, their usual black coffees, and since all their drinks were on the house, they would then proceed to order the most complex drinks they could, liberally adding things and taking away things. With an evil smirk, Anya had asked for a twist of lemon in one of them. They also didn’t seem to mind it was rush hour when they did.

And to make it worse, they never touched those fancy drinks. No, they always just left them on the table, sometimes with a rude image drawn in whatever cream topping they had.

It was enough to set Clarke’s teeth on edge. Even worse, she and Raven didn’t have a shift tomorrow which meant occupying themselves for the whole day with no money. Especially since if they hung around the cafe too much Octavia would get suspicious.

“Come on Clarkey, let’s go,” Raven sighed as she stretched, cracking her back.

Clarke groaned but got up, going to her locker and trading her shitty 500$ second hand laptop for an equally shitty sleeping bag. She also stuffed her toothbrush and hair brush into her backpack and put her beanie onto her head.

Raven was doing much the same and they both locked their lockers before looking out at the street.

“See you in a couple days, Boss!” Clarke cried to the upstairs area, waiting to hear the muffled goodbye from the upstairs apartment before making her way to the door.

She flicked the lights off and Raven held the door open for her. She nodded and shuffled through, instantly pulling her ratty coat closer. Raven locked the door and they made their way down the street.

“Boss lady let me take a couple of the older muffins,” Raven mumbled.

“Cool. I have a couple dollars, we could probably get a loaf of bread as well,” Clarke added.

“I got a couple bucks to, maybe some apples? Wouldn't want to put on to much weight,” Clarke barked out a sharp laugh at that.

As if they would ever have enough money to get fat.

After twenty minutes they were armed with a meagre meal. It was purely dark out and they were using their Nokia flip phones for light. They were lucky they got away with charging everything at Grounders.

The awkwardly shuffled over the stones and found their way to the small bridge that stretched over Polis Lake. It was their spot.

It wasn’t anything special, though they had a tarp stowed there for if it got windy and blowed the rain under the bridge. Clarke and Raven set up their sleeping bags in silence before splitting the muffins and the two apples. They had only managed to score a small loaf of unsliced bread at the corner store and they ripped that in half. They hadn’t eaten since the previous day.

“Oh my god Clarke I beat my high score!” Ravens voice was excited.

Clarke leaned over and peaked at her small screen. She was acing snake.

“Nice! But you might want to turn it off to save battery; we won’t be at grounders for a couple of days yeah?” They also had to last off of whatever cash they could find for the next couple days, since their bank cards had a permanent residency in their lockers.

The only purpose of those cards was to receive payments from Grounders and pay off their college bills.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven grumbled.

They both ignored the headlights of a car swinging around to face the lake about twenty yards from them. It was a popular spot for lovers at night and they payed no mind to the two occupants.

Meanwhile, within the car Anya looked over to Lexa. She hadn’t said it out loud, but she loved Lexa like family and she knew she felt the same. Anya simply couldn’t help but want to protect her.

They had had a long day and Anya knew that looking at the water would help ease a bit of her stress. She knew they would both have to go for a nature walk soon; being in the city so long, so removed from the forest, was putting both of them on edge.

It was then that a flash of light caught her attention. Not speaking, she swivelled her head around and saw a small white light under the bride. Subtly putting on her high beams, she illuminated the area enough to see what it was.

And simply couldn’t fucking believe it.

The two girls they had been torturing with ridiculous drink orders all week, the two girls who had drunkenly climbed five stories and toppled on to their balcony, the two girls who had fucked over her nice coffee, were camped out under the bridge.

Lexa followed her line of sight.

“Fuck,” She breathed.

The girls hadn’t noticed them, and they were laughing at something.

“I thought they had jobs,” Anya murmured.

“Must be a difficult situation,” Lexa replied, feeling uncomfortable.

After all, they were about to go back to a high-end heated apartment with a fucking stellar view whilst these two girls that _they knew_ were sleeping under a bridge in the fucking cold, with nothing but a sleeping bag each.

Lexa could also see the reluctant, self loathing but determined look in Anya’s eyes.

“Anya no.” She said.

“We can’t just take in strays, especially not the drunken prankster variety,” Even as she said it she knew it was a losing battle.

Telling Anya to lose her protective instincts was like telling an angry grizzly bear to fuck off, with an equally destructive result.

“You suggest we leave them there?” Anya arched an eyebrow.

She didn’t quite like the idea either but her mother had always said not taking an opportunity to help someone was wasting precious moments of a happy life.

Before she had become a drug addict, that is.

Lexa sighed and thumped her head against the back of the seat, a sure enough indication for defeat.

Anya hid her smirk and got out the car, closing the door softly.

The two girls didn’t even hear her approach, her footsteps quiet and trained. The blonde noticed her first, when she was about a foot behind the brunette.

_Raven._

Just as the blondes mouth formed a small ‘o’ of surprise, Raven spun around and felt her own mouth open in shock.

“Hey cheekbones,” She choked out.

“Follow me,” Anya’s voice was harsh.

“Excuse me?” Clarke had regained her voice.

“Follow me,” Anya repeated.

“Listen, psycho, we know you want us dead but can’t you just leave us in peace!” Raven snapped.

Sure, Psycho Cheekbones is hot, but this was something else.

Anya had had enough. It was hard for her to reach out and when she got shut down like this it was ten times worse.

“Follow me or I’ll arrest you,” She hissed.

“For what?” Clarke was defiant.

“Loitering in a suspicious manner after dark!” She snapped.

The two girls spluttered but ultimately got out of their sleeping bags and rolled them up. Anya felt a tug in her chest when she saw the threadbare clothes and skinny limbs. She hadn’t noticed that before.

She turned sharply on her heel and strode towards her black SUV, Lexa no doubt sulking and playing _Angry Birds_ in the passenger seat.

She could hear the girls shuffling behind her so she didn’t look bad, traversing the rocky ground with ease. The water was only a few feet away, and she wondered how many times the tide had risen and chased the girls out of their hiding spot.

Clarke and Raven looked at each other in trepidation when they got to the big black car Anya now stood menacingly next to. But when she opened the back seat and a blast of warmth from its heater hit them, they were quite quick to crawl in. Raven had even gathered enough courage to shoot a wink at Anya, who scowled and slammed the door behind them.

Once in the car Clarke tried not to notice the stunning brunette who was playing on her phone and ignoring them completely and totally.

_Lexa._

Raven sniggered next to her and Clarke immediately snapped out of her daydream and glared at her, before looking towards Anya in the driver’s seat and waggling her eyebrows.

“Stop that.” Anya ordered, making Clarke blush a deep red at the scolding.

Raven only just held in her laugh.

The girls sat, anxious and fidgeting as Anya started the car and kept driving without a word. When they reached a familiar apartment complex, Clarke blanched.

“Why are you taking us here?” Her voice was timid.

“Obviously so you don’t freeze to death in the cold!” Lexa finally snapped.

She was tired and not in the mood to deal with any sort of ungratefulness.

“But why? You hate us,” Raven rebutted.

Before Lexa could reply, Anya pulled up in the car park.

“Get out the car,” She said, ending any further argument.

Clarke and Raven looked at each other before reluctantly gathering their few belongings and getting out.

“Follow,” Anya’s voice was flat, as per usual.

“No, you could be an axe murderer!” Raven’s sass was hiding some real fear.

“I am a federal agent! And the axe murderer is far more likely to find you under that fucking bridge!” Anya felt her composure slipping.

“C’mon Ray, its cold,” Clarke caved first, and Raven huffed but nodded.

Chins up, they followed the two intimidating girls into the apartment complex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya liked it.  
> Chuck us a comment about these helpless gays


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